It’s Good to Talk
Take a look at our WISETALKERS page to learn how to get people to open up about what is bothering them and give them the support they need. Helping someone in distress to talk it through with you will certainly make their day a bit better. It may also save a life.
(More information about early help can be found below)
Identifying someone at risk of suicide and what to do
The Zero Suicide Alliance have a great 30 minute free Online training Course Save a Life – Take the Training -giving practical advice on how to start the conversation. It may be all you need to know. Take the course yourself and encourage as many people as you can to do it too.
This download from PAPYRUS and from The Alliance of Suicide Prevention Charities (TASC) give tips on how to ask someone about thoughts of suicide.
Our Get Help page provides links to some key services.
Understanding more about suicide
The reasons someone may take their life are complex, very specific to that individual and not predictable. Information regarding how you may identify someone at increased risk of suicide can be useful but it is important to recognise that some people may not show these signs yet still be at risk. Things that appear minor (to you) may be really significant to another person, and a series of these “small” things may nudge people towards suicide risk. It depends on how that person perceives their situation and you cannot know unless they tell you, honestly.
There may be many reasons why the person wants to keep their personal crisis private and so will work hard at hiding their thoughts and feelings.
If you are worried about someone, go with your gut and Ask Twice
This short Owen Jones interview “Why do so many men die by suicide” gives one young man’s insight into the problems they face.
Supporting Someone Who Has (Or Has Had) Suicidal Thoughts
If you are concerned for any reason about someone you know please take them seriously, offer them support and give them the opportunity to talk with no judgement. Often you don’t have to make a grand gesture, just the offer of a film or takeaway or even just a hug. It is crucial that the person at risk realises he/she is loved, supported, and valued. In cases where this is not enough look at our Get Help page to get the right support.
If you are worried that someone is at risk of suicide:
- Ask them directly “Are you thinking of taking your own life?” (It is scarey to ask but WON’T encourage them to take their life.)
- Find out if they have made plan and if so try to remove the means to carry it out.
- If they have already started to action their plan (eg taken tablets) or are at immediate risk, try to make sure they are not on their own, and call 999 or take him/her to A&E.
Supporting someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts can be challenging. Even if they are receiving help from Mental Health services they will still need your support. The suicide prevention charities listed on our Get Help page provide information to help you if you are worried about someone.
Helping Early Before Things Become Overwhelming
See our Get Help page to think through what might help someone.
Kooth offer free online chat with a counsellor.
Student Minds have a good resource covering most aspects of helping a friend, with general advice applicable from school age onwards. It also includes specific advice for university students from coping with Freshers week to leaving and looking for jobs. Plenty of information around helping friends with specific diagnoses.
The Mix also provide excellent advice and support for issues affecting young people.
Samaritans provide good information on how to prepare for these conversations (from providing a safe environment through to recognising your own needs) and some good example questions for checking out if they know how to get help.
Specific information for parents
Raising a family is one of the most important and rewarding parts of our lives. It can also be a source of anxiety, confusion and frustration when things aren’t running smoothly. Often parents put their own needs to one side to concentrate on their children but it is important to look after their own mental wellbeing too. Not only are their children more likely to pick up these good habits but it will also make it easier for the family to manage difficulties that arise.
Talking and listening to your child, encouraging them to understand and express their emotions from an early age is crucial to their future health and wellbeing. 10 minutes a day, where you are there just for that child doing an activity with them that they have chosen and enjoy, creates the security and space for proper communication to happen. It can be difficult to get this “us time” with teenagers but this is when they are likely to need it most. Look for innovative ways to keep communicating.
Parents now have access to more information that ever before but navigating the often conflicting advice in books, newspapers and online can add to the confusion.
The book(s) by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are excellent. They use scenarios, in an easy to read style, to help you identify why you sometimes can’t seem to get through to your kids and what to do. It really does work! (You can usually get them from the library or buy them cheap on Ebay etc)
- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- How To Talk So Teens Will Listen & Listen So Teens Will Talk
- How To Talk So Kids Can Learn At Home And In School (For parents and teachers)
Below lists some good online resources:
- Mind Ed resources, developed by Department of Education in partnership with Health Education England, provide reliable and evidence based information to help parents understand and cope with a range of issues in all age groups. The approach is quite formal and there is a prompt to log in to the site but it is possible to progress through the sessions without this.
- The Charlie Waller Trust have some good downloadable resources for parents, children and teachers here covering:
- Wellbeing action plan,
- Depression booklet,
- How can I ask for help?,
- Coping with self harm,
- Parent’s guide to depression,
- Look after yourself during GCSEs: A guide for pupils,
- An emotionally healthy guide to GCSEs: A guide for parents.
- Social Media and Teenagers
- Mental Health Problems in Children and Young People
- For teachers: Young people who self harm: A guide for school staff, An emotionally health Guide to GCSEs: A guide for teachers.)
- Bullying UK. provides a range of advice and support around bullying.
- Family Lives offers a confidential and free* helpline service (previously known as Parentline). Call 0808 800 2222 for information, advice, guidance and support on any aspect of parenting and family life, including bullying. Their helpline service is open 9am – 9pm, Monday to Friday and 10am – 3pm Saturday and Sunday.
- The Young Minds website has reliable information for parents and carers about common mental health and behaviour concerns in children and young people aged 0-25. Find out about symptoms, possible causes and what you can do to help, with links to further information, resources and other organisations you can contact for support.
- The Epic Friends website provides mental health information in a way that young people are likely to understand and relate to and may provide a good starting point.